Recruitment Office Rituals We Can All Do Without

Let’s face it, we’re all creatures of habit. That’s especially true for us recruiters who have to get the mundane day-to-day work out of the way before we can even dream of the high stakes closing call you see on films like The Wolf of Wall Street or Jerry Maguire.

Now, this comes with a problem. There are some absolutely infuriating, hilariously awkward or downright random rituals which take place in the recruitment office which few others will fully understand. 

If you’re tiring of the everyday fatigue which goes with this recruitment politeness which you’re facing, we’ve got just the thing. Here’s your place to vent, these are the recruitment office rituals we can all do without.

Get in touch with your own recruiter problems and we’ll feature them here.

Strange Office Rituals

The office is a strange place made seemingly more bizarre by the day-to-day traditions, small-talk and face-saving attitude we seem to triumph above all else.

Here are some of your best entries:

That infuriating moment when someone always accepts your offer to make them a cuppa, but never returns the favour. I’m not offering because I want to make you a tea Karen, I’m just not a monster like some people!

Sarah (23, London)

When you’re sat at your desk holding your breathe after a coughing fit because suffocation seems a more favourable option than disturbing everyone.

Jen (30, Birmingham)

Only feeling confident making small talk in the kitchen with colleagues you barely know on Fridays because you have that ever-reliable fallback option of ‘up to much this weekend?’ at your disposal.

Jackson (32, Manchester)

“How’s your day going?”

“Not too bad” – Translations:

  1. Surprisingly okay so far 
  2. Worst day of my life
  3. Spectacularly awful
  4. It’s exceedingly unremarkable
  5. I feel nothing

Alex (27, London)

Accepting a compliment like:

“You look nice today”

“I look disgusting, but thanks”

Chloe (23, Brighton)

The “I’m about to go home” procedure:

  1. Stand behind office chair
  2. Place hand on computer mouse, click angrily nothing in particular
  3. Whisper “come on”
  4. Frown and pretend you’re late for something important
  5. Rush out to go home and watch TV

Piers (29, Reading)

Instantly commenting on someone’s tan the moment they return back after a holiday

Mandy (24, Newcastle)

“Get up to much at the weekend?”

“Watched TV and looked at my phone”

Charlie (27, Braintree)

Shedding a quiet tear of joy when someone says you make a good cup of tea

Ade (23, Bedford)

Arrogant man on phone

Getting Down to Work

Work is a minefield of saving face, bowing down to clients and navigating the perils of passive aggressive emails from your boss. Here’s some absolute golden submissions from our followers:

When your line manager approaches and utters the words “I know you’re on lunch, but…”

Molly (23, London)

Turning up to a meeting on the verge of dehydration but still rejecting the offer of a drink so as not to inconvenience anyone

Luke (34, Coventry)

Feeling deeply disappointed with yourself for saying “Happy Friday!” in a work email

Cass (27, Cardiff)

“Anything you’d like to add to the meeting?”

“We’ve run out of custard creams”

Wilson (25, Cambridge)

Screaming in your car while still in the car park for the client meeting you drove 2 hours to attend, just to be told in person that they’ve got a PSL

Sinead (29, Derby)

Saying “let’s circle back” in a meeting to let the person talking know that they’ve been chatting utter rubbish for the last 5 minutes

Graham (36, Leeds)

“They’ve… just stepped away from their desk for a minute, can I take a message?” 

Translation: They’re staring straight at me shaking their head

Heleana (23, London)

Ending a meeting with 20 minutes of awkward small talk until someone has the confidence to slap their knee and say ‘right!’, indicating it’s time to stand up and walk out

Tim (26, Glasgow)

“Can I just borrow you?”

Translation: I need your help with something

“Can I have a quick word?”

Translation: You’re fired

Andrew (38, Guildford)

Attempting not to strangle someone when they say “there’s plenty more fish in the sea” after your deal falls through

Aisha (30, Liverpool)

Removing the ‘kind’ in ‘kind regards’ to let the recipient of your email know you’re absolutely furious

Emily (26, Cambridge)

Asking “how are you getting on?” because you know the work you asked for hasn’t even been started

Deborah (42, Manchester)

Handling Social Situations

Social situations with work colleagues can be a daunting or rewarding prospect. Oftentimes, the inclusion of management at your regular drinking spot can stir feelings of anxiety which are best remedied with copious amounts of alcohol. Disaster and embarrassment are nearly always guaranteed.

“Quick drink?”

Translation: Let’s not leave this bar until 3am, despite having work at 8am

Kate (32, Bristol)

Sarcastically getting asked “good night last night?” by people who viewed the Instagram story of you necking tequila shots at 4am

Sammy (33, Bolton)

“How did the office night out go last night?”

“Might be fired on Monday, not too sure yet”

Tim (24, Stevenage)

Having one of those weeks where the only thing keeping you sane is the thought of a nice cold beer on a Friday

James (42, London)

Man having drink in suit in a paddling pool

Too Many Problems, Not Enough Pay?

All joking aside, there are two types of problems recruiters endure. One type are like those listed above, they’re funny inconveniences which realistically aren’t affecting your enjoyment all too much – you’re going to face them most places. The other are the type of issues which keep you from loving your job. They’re the type of problems that regularly make you consider moving on. If you’re sick and tired of your job and not getting the money you deserve, it’s time for a move.

We work with the very best candidates and clients, meaning we’ll find you the ideal role. If you want a job in recruitment, we’ll help you get there. Browse our job board to get a feel for the type of vacancies we currently have on offer, or upload your CV below!

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market opportunities – 020 3031 1666.