Cold Calling Carnage: A Game That Tears Up Scripts

Cold calling is a pain for most recruiters. Don’t get us wrong, it can be exciting to win a lead out of nothing… but it’s still a pretty crappy part of the job.

Now, let’s try to stir things up and give your cold calling a little injection of fun.

This is Cold Calling Carnage, a game that tears up scripts and remixes your sales patter with hilarious results.

Think Fonejacker, but for recruiters.

The Rules

Right, this is simple so there’s no excuse to get it wrong.

How to Play

  • Write the numbers 1-10 on a piece of paper
  • Cut them out and put them in a hat (or bowl – you shouldn’t be friends with the type of person who wears a hat in the office)
  • Each person takes a turn picking a number from the bowl
  • On their next call, they have to take the challenge corresponding to that number
  • If they wimp out, a forfeit MUST be completed

The Forfeits

Oh, so you didn’t manage to complete your challenge? Poor you… jokes, we have no sympathy for pathetic attempts like yours.

It’s now up to the rest of the team to pick your forfeit from the juicy choices below. Feel free to add your own forfeits if you can think of something equally as embarrassing and painful to watch as these will be:

  • Find, purchase and wear a full chicken suit for the next work night out
  • Buy everyone in your team a drink after work
  • Bring back the ice bucket challenge (remember when that was a thing)
  • Donate the commission from your next deal to charity
  • Let your friends take over your social media accounts for the day
  • Surrender your Tinder/Bumble account to the rest of your team and attend a blind date they set up for you

1: Calling From the Gym

No pain, no gain!

If you pick out #1, you’ve got to trick your unsuspecting candidate into thinking you’re calling from the gym.

We’re talking lots of out-of-breath panting, groans from lifting weights and regular motivational comments about how important working out is for your daily routine.

Extra points for running on the spot while on the call for that extra bit of realism.

2: The World’s Oldest Recruiter

You may be old, but you’re certainly not done with making money!

For this call, you must be an elderly gentleman/woman who holds the record for the oldest recruiter in the world. You must talk, act and sell like an ageing exployee.

This involves going on long rambling discussions about your grandchildren and how things were better back in your day.

3: Oooh, You Big Tease

No one loves an innuendo better than this recruiter.

If you pick #3 out of the hat, your task is to make an innuendo out of everything being said by your candidate.

You also MUST react as if everything they say is a little saucy and rude… “oooh you big tease” is a phrase that must be uttered at least 3 times during your conversation (preferably after an entirely mundane exchange).

4: It’s Stupendous!

We all love a Chris Eubank impression… now it’s time to put yours to the test.

For this challenge, you’ve got to put on your most pronounced lisp and regularly describe your candidate’s CV as stupendous.

5: The Flat-Earther

Get your tin foil hat ready… you’re about to become a legitimate flat-earther.

For your next call, you’ve got to attempt to convince your candidate that the Earth is flat… quoting questionable ‘scientific evidence’ is a must.

6: The Inconsolable Ex

This one requires a little flair for the dramatic.

On your next cold call, you must sound downbeat and sad. Halfway through the call, you need to break down in tears and explain that you’re upset because your partner left you last night… the more emotionally involved you convince the candidate to be, the better!

7: I’m Vegan!

This one’s simple. How many times can you mention that you’re vegan on one call?

Your team should set a target for you to meet before you make the call.

8: It Is What It Is!

One for the Love Island fans.

For this challenge, you’ve got to include as many Love Island cliches as possible in your conversation.

Here are a few to get you started:

  • It is what it is
  • I’m loyal babes
  • My type on paper
  • You’re my bev
  • Getting pied off
  • Tuna melt
  • Factor 50
  • Grafting
  • Head’s been turned
  • Where’s your head at?
  • Not being funny, but…

9: Talk the Talk

If you get this number, you’re at the mercy of your team.

The others must choose a celebrity for you to impersonate on your next call. For the entire duration of the conversation, you must stay in character.

10: The Wildcard

Here’s your chance to get creative.

The challenge for #10 is entirely up to your team. We’re looking for you to impose a challenge as difficult and embarrassing as conceivably possible.

Still Not Feeling Excited About Work?

If mixing things up and adding a little fun into your day isn’t solving the issues you’re experiencing at work, it could be part of something bigger. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that your current company isn’t stimulating your performance as much as they should be. It could be time for a change.

If you’re looking to find a new agency, we want to hear from you. We work with a real variety of exciting clients, which means we’re sure to have an opportunity that’s ideal for you. Simply upload your CV below and we’ll be in touch for a confidential chat about your circumstances and experience. Additionally, browse our job board to get a feel for the type of opportunities we currently have on offer.

Upload CV or Linkedin Profile

Alternatively call one of our consultants for an informal and confidential chat around
market opportunities – 020 3031 1666.