11 Co-Workers From Hell that Give Us the Chills

It’s that spooky season once again and we’re already dreading the inundation of new-look Joker costumes that are soon to hit recruitment offices around the country.

With an army of recruiters set to dress themselves up as mentally unhinged ghouls, goblins, vampires, zombies and clowns, we’ve been thinking… what actually scares us recruiters?

Yep, you guessed it… co-workers!

We’ve scoured the annals of recruitment folklore and found some of the most fiendish, freaky and downright frightening co-workers from hell.

Prepare for a chill…

The Lunch Thief

Picture the scene, you spend hours doing lunch prep on a Sunday, bring in your food Monday morning, only to find it gone by lunchtime.

Lunch thieves are the worst kind of people… and they’re out there, lurking around the fridge of a recruitment office near you!

The Failed DJ

Failed musicians often find themselves breaking into recruitment when they’re done performing at gigs of 5 people in their local pub.

Though the failed DJ who insists on playing their samples to a room of uninterested colleagues before heading out for the evening is beyond our sympathies.

We’ve heard countless horror stories of monotonous beating tones drilled into innocent recruiters while they’re trying to drink with their friends in peace.

The Office Princess

She claims she doesn’t use Instagram often, but introduces herself to people in the pub as an influencer.

She talks casually about treating herself to a Mulberry purse at the weekend as if it’s nothing.

She comes from money and loves to flaunt it in front of others less fortunate.

She snaps sly selfies at lunch to update her ‘fans’ and is overly-critical about the outfits of others in the office.

She talks about being ‘a really genuine person really’ but then talks trash about anyone who leaves the room.

She complains about being overwhelmed with work but her KPIs are the lowest in the office.

She is the office princess!

The Conspiracy Theorist

Everything is a conspiracy if you look hard enough… at least that’s what this wannabe Alex Jones recruiter will tell you.

He’s got a theory for everything, from chemtrails to the moon landing, Area 51 to the Illuminati… be drawn into a discussion with him at your own peril.

Before you know it, a drink at the pub with him will feel like an episode of Joe Rogan.

The Ex Semi-Professional Footballer

When you first meet this recruiter, he’ll tell you all about how he used to play for West Ham’s academy back in the day.

He’ll gush over how he was going to make it big and break into the pro game if it wasn’t for his career ending injury.

He’ll tell you about how he was compared to a young Frank Lampard back in the day

He won’t ever shut up about it…

The Abuser of Personal Space

They love to get up close and personal when it’s far from welcome.

They stand a little too close and lean in a little too much when talking.

Their breath smells but you’re not rude, you’ve got to just stand there smiling, hoping the conversation ends promptly so you can return to the safety of your desk.

The Cycling Cult Leader

Sweaty middle-aged men clad in lycra isn’t a sight anyone wants to behold first thing in the morning. Unfortunately, this recruiter will put you off your breakfast every day as they arrive in from their commute.

He discovered the joys of cycling, you see. It’s evidently become a new passion which is painful to watch unfold.

The difficulty is though, this recruiter has started something of a cult in the office. Their love for cycling is spreading like a disease around the sales floor and before you know it lycra is more popular than pinstripes before 9am.

The Outfit Copycat

They compliment you on your top and ask you where you got it from, so you have a nice friendly chat about clothes.

You think no more about it, until the next work night out they turn up wearing your outfit!

Absolutely criminal behaviour.

The Office Prude

This recruiter seems normal from the outside. They’re conversational, polite and seem to fit in… but you’re mistaken.

They’re a massive prude!

When you talk about your latest Tinder date or make a slightly risky joke, their nostrils flare and their eyes widen. They’re shocked and disgusted by your behaviour.

Now, we’re not saying that the joke or conversation about your sex life wasn’t a bit inappropriate but it sure wasn’t offensive.

This is a tough situation to be in… we don’t want to upset anyone but come on, you need to be able to fill your colleagues in on this stuff.

The Passive Aggressive Post-It Notes

They immediately raise tension in the office and get people on the defensive… the passive aggressive post-it note user is a position of great contention around the country.

Oftentimes, the notes will contain messages which might carry some air of truth to them, though there’s something about saying them through luminous yellow squares of paper that just rubs us up the wrong way.

The Vampire

They arrive earlier than you and leave later than you. In fact, you’ve never seen them out during daylight hours at all.

They never go out at lunch and can usually be found lurking in the shadowy corners of the room.

There are rumours they stay in the office overnight, but you’re sure there’s something far more sinister at play… maybe they’re a vampire?

Need to Escape Your Office Gremlins?

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