Earn Your Stripes: A Recruitment Checklist
Think back to the very first day. It feels like a lifetime ago doesn’t it? A baby-faced graduate set to revolutionise the recruitment industry. Tapping your foot rapidly as you soar to the seventh floor of a swanky new office block. You wipe the sweat from your palms, adjust your freshly bought suit and step onto the salesfloor for the very first time. How long did it take for all that hopeless optimism to leak away? We’re guessing about the same time it took for your first promotion. It takes a lot to earn your stripes in recruitment. Here’s what you need to go through…
It Pays To Be Pessimistic
The first cut is always the deepest. Your first heartbreak from a so-called ‘perfect’ candidate is crushing. We know you’ve never got over it, we haven’t either. We’re pretty sure you’re a tad more cynical now because of it. Sorry about that (we should probably start mentioning it in job description).
You’ve Seen A Lot of Grannies Die
The top reason for no-show/dropout candidates has to be a poor granny’s death. We’re not saying we don’t believe these candidates. We’re just saying, someone should start investigating the link between job hunting and the loss of elderly relatives. Seriously, something freaky is going on here.
You Become a Control Freak
Who are you trying to fool? Recruiters are the biggest control freaks around! The entire industry is based on people trying to control an uncontrollable process. Don’t believe us? Answer us one question, who’s the admin of your friends WhatsApp group? Yep, thought so.
You’re Sick in Front of Your Boss
Just because you went to uni, it doesn’t mean you can keep up with recruiters. We can drink… a lot! You find this out the hard way. You haven’t had a night out with recruiters until you’re throwing up in front of your boss, crying and apologising. Same time next week?
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You’re a Rat… Or a Snake
You become immune to name calling. You might not have seen this in the job ad but it’s a requirement for all recruiters to be rats or snakes. It’s actually preferred to a degree or previous sales experience. At least that’s what the general public seems to think.
You Blow Your Commission in the First Weekend
The joys of getting your first commission payment… Wait, where did it go? Oh yeah, the countless rounds at the pub showing off to your ‘poor’ friends. The new phone, flashy suit and expensive watch may have played a part too. Two days of being a big shot is better than nothing.
You Become the Envy of Your Friends
From holidays in Miami to the £200 Selfridges vouchers for your first promotion. You’re the envy of your friends and that’s not a problem at all. While your friends are too poor to make it out this weekend, you’re the one subbing them a tenner till payday. It feels good to be rich.
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Seriously Considering Resignation
As a late January chill creeps through the office, everything seems too much. You’ve not placed a single candidate all month and you’ve began hearing the Vodafone voicemail message in your dreams. As you mull over life’s difficulties while brewing a cup of tea, rain begins to distort London’s murky skyline. You’re a long way from the Wolf of Wall Street fantasies of your first day. Tomorrow, you think to yourself, tomorrow will be the day I quit.
Then You Bounce Back Like Never Before!
You think you’ve had enough. You’ve made up your mind, the industry isn’t for you. Then, out of nowhere, a dream candidate appears like a sacred gift from the gods of recruitment. You hit a deal out the park and then another comes in straight after… and then another. You’re on top of the world. You’re David Beckham scoring against Greece in 2001. You’re Johnny Wilkinson hitting a last minute drop kick in 2003. You’re Jessica Ennis-Hill grabbing gold in 2012. You’re Anthony Joshua knocking Wladimir Klitschko to the canvas twice in the 11th round. You’re the best goddamn recruiter around and you’re here to stay!
Have you earned your stripes in recruitment? Are you craving the next challenge? Take a step up in your career with a little help from us. We have many exceptional opportunities for experienced recruiters like yourself. Give our job board a browse to get a feel for our latest vacancies.