How to Recruit a Love Island Contestant
Obsessed with Love Island? Yeah, us too! It’s trashy, binge-worthy and has Shakespearean levels of drama. Whether you fancy shacking up with some air headed hunks or image obsessed ladies, now’s your chance. Here’s how to recruit a Love Island contestant.
The Job Description
What would a Love Island job description look like? Who’s your type on paper? Let’s crack on.
Recruiting: Attractive but Shameless Wannabe Celeb
Are you a shameless wannabe celeb who’ll have a cheeky shag on live TV? Are you willing to graft for a guy or girl you’ve just met? Craving your fifteen minutes of fame? We have an excellent opportunity for the ideal candidate based in a beautiful villa on the island of Majorca.
- Pairing off with other recruits to form the most likable couple
- Snaking off to flirt with other potential matches when bae isn’t looking
- Catching feels and putting all your eggs in one basket
- Getting pied off by the contestant you actually like
- Getting salty when bae chats to other contestants
- Sticking it on any islander you can
- Grafting for a relationship when you couple up
- Avoid giving them The Ick
The Ideal Candidate
- A complete lack of intelligence
- Model-worthy good looks
- Fake tanned
- Groomed to perfection
- Incredibly physically fit
- Image obsessed with very little ‘real world experience’
- An absence of shame
- Resilient with the ability to handle rejection
- Happily slag off their friends given half the chance
The perfect candidate should have a history of brainless partying and gym addiction. A predisposition towards glossy magazines, reality shows and MTV is also desirable. Genuine personalities are not sought-after, instead we’d take preference to those with perfectly sculpted bodies.
Applicants may already have experience working as a model or semi-professional sports star. Although students with zero work ethic are also accepted. Special consideration is given to ex-Blazin’ Squad members as long as they constantly remind us of this at every potential opportunity. Tuna melts need not apply.
The Love Island Interview
Forget what you know about job interview prep, this is like no other. Here’s how to prep a candidate for the questions they’ll face in the Love Island interview.
Tell Me About Yourself…
Don’t overthink this one. Your candidate should talk about their love for the gym, their part time job at Hollister and of course their favourite Friday night club spot.
What Are Your Strengths?
Easy! Love Island candidates should demonstrate their suitability for the role by taking this question literally. In other words, how much do you lift bro?
What Weaknesses Do You Have?
Another opportunity to shine. Your candidate should highlight their salty reactions when their date speaks to others. If they love gossiping and stirring up drama, even better! A few real world examples of destroyed friendships are highly welcomed here.
Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?
This is where your candidate can really show their ambition. How many Instagram followers can they get in five years? The sky’s the limit for this one!
What Motivates You?
A free holiday to Majorca, of course!
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